Memories Too Hot To Heal? (Updated)
How to remove the "hot emotions" in memories so you can move forward.
Wiping away the tears from my face as I entered the house, I was hoping to appear normal to my friend who was babysitting my young son for me.
“What happened to you?!” she exclaimed, “You look like hell!”
Yeah, I had just 10 minutes ago been sobbing in my car.
At that time in my life I knew I needed counseling, I couldn’t go any farther in healing on my own. So I started looking for a therapist.
One of the first therapists I met wanted me to immediately dive into the past trauma’s of my childhood. Recounting in detail what had happened.
For a person who had spent most of her life repressing and distancing herself from these events (classic disassociation) being shoved into these memories was to re-experience the pain and trauma all over again, as if I was living it for the first time.
In other words, I was re-traumatized. Emotionally devasted. There was no healing but instead a reliving of that hell.
Needless to say, I didn’t go back to that therapist.
A simplistic definition of classic talk therapy is that it focuses on past trauma or current issues, talking through the event and emotions and then helping the person develop healthy coping mechanisms to move forward. This process can take months, even years.
Which is great unless remembering the event is too emotionally “hot” and you don’t want to spend forever picking at a sore, open wound.
Think of a solider experiencing post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Talking about the events over and over is literally re-living the hell, over and over.
This same example can apply to childhood abuse trauma. It’s a different form of PTSD.
Luckily there are therapies that can take the hot emotions from memories and neutralize them.
These therapies free a person to then be able to process the trauma from a much stronger place emotionally vs. being in an endless loop of pain.
I am so thankful I found these types of therapies. It was the key to helping me heal from years of childhood abuse.
Therapies for Hot Emotions
Below are the top four types of therapies for PTSD.
PTSD is very common for survivors of childhood trauma, abusive relationships, as well as soldiers of war.
Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)
CPT is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy specifically designed to treat PTSD. It helps individuals identify and modify negative thoughts and beliefs related to their traumatic experience.
When to use it: CPT is recommended for individuals with PTSD who have distorted thoughts and beliefs about the traumatic event, such as blaming themselves or feeling overly distrustful.
Pros: CPT has been shown to be highly effective in reducing PTSD symptoms and improving overall functioning.
Cons: It may be difficult for some individuals to confront and process their traumatic memories.
Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE)
PE involves gradually exposing individuals to memories, thoughts, and situations related to their traumatic experience in a safe and controlled environment.
When to use it: PE is recommended for individuals with PTSD who experience intense fear or avoidance of situations or reminders of the traumatic event.
Pros: PE can help individuals overcome their fear and reduce their avoidance behavior, leading to a decrease in PTSD symptoms.
Cons: It can be distressing and emotionally challenging for some individuals to revisit their traumatic memories.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
EMDR involves focusing on specific thoughts, emotions, and sensations related to the traumatic event while simultaneously engaging in bilateral eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation.
When to use it: EMDR can be effective for individuals with PTSD who have difficulty processing and integrating their traumatic memories.
Pros: EMDR can help individuals process and resolve traumatic memories more quickly than traditional talk therapy.
Cons: Some individuals may find the eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation uncomfortable or distracting.
Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)
TF-CBT is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy specifically designed for children and adolescents who have experienced trauma, including PTSD.
When to use it: TF-CBT is recommended for children and adolescents who have experienced trauma and are exhibiting PTSD symptoms, such as nightmares, avoidance behavior, or emotional difficulties.
Pros: TF-CBT has been shown to be effective in reducing PTSD symptoms and improving overall functioning in children and adolescents.
Cons: It may be challenging for some children and adolescents to engage in trauma-focused treatment, and parental involvement is often required.
While I encourage you to be open to all the therapies listed above, I strongly lean towards EMDR therapy.
To find such a therapist, enter into Google “find therapists with emdr near me”. Engage with a therapist that has a practice that you resonate with.
Talk therapy has a place in the healing toolbox. But when it comes to “hot trauma”, these approaches will get you relief fast!
Hugs,
Jami