No, It's Not Your Fault. But You Are Responsible.
What you chose today makes all the difference.
My father was a physically fit person who looked down on those who were not.
That would be me starting around 9 years old, when I started using food to self-soothe.
Of course, dealing with a father full of rage and destructive behaviors along with an alcoholic mother encourages self-soothing behaviors such as eating.
Moving into adulthood I carried that self-soothing behavior forward, along with the scars from a nasty childhood.
Which leads me to the two most common reasons for obesity.
Childhood Trauma
Traumatic childhoods, whether physical or sexual, often lead to obesity and food disorders. [1] [2]
This link has been corroborated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. More than six million obese and morbidly obese people are likely to have suffered physical, sexual and/or verbal abuse during their childhoods, according to the CDC’s ongoing ACE Study. [1]
Fortunately, obesity was the only affliction I suffered from. Addiction runs strong in the family tree. I consider myself lucky.
Hunger Hormone Gang
For weight loss, as if the emotional baggage wasn't enough, there is also the hunger hormone gang, wrecking havoc on a healthy diet. No ladies, it's not just menopause and estrogen you have to worry about.
Here are 7 critical appetite hormones to understand:
Ghrelin - The "Hungry" Hormone
Ghrelin is made in your stomach when it's empty. It tells your brain that you need to eat! More ghrelin makes you feel more hungry.
Leptin - The "Full" Hormone
Leptin is from fat cells. It tells your brain you have enough fat stored up. More leptin makes you feel less hungry. But sometimes your brain stops listening to the leptin signals.
Insulin - The Energy Hormone
Insulin helps your body use and store food for energy. More insulin can make you less hungry by making sure your cells have enough fuel.
Cortisol - The Stress Hormone
Cortisol is released when you are stressed. It can make you hungry if you are stressed for a short time. But it may make you less hungry if you are stressed for a long time.
Neuropeptide Y - The Cravings Hormone
This hormone makes you crave yummy carbs and fats. Levels go up before meals to make you extra hungry. This makes it hard to say no to your fave snacks!
GLP-1 - The "Fullness" Hormone
GLP-1 is released after you eat. It slows digestion and makes you feel full. Some weight loss drugs copy how GLP-1 works.
PYY - The "Satisfied" Hormone
Like GLP-1, more PYY is released after you eat. It helps you feel full and satisfied, especially after high protein meals.
So in short, ghrelin, cortisol and neuropeptide Y increase appetite. But leptin, insulin, GLP-1 and PYY decrease appetite. Ozempic, Wegovy, and other popular weight loss drugs today are GLP-1 hormone based medications
If one or more of these hormones becomes out of balance (for a variety of reasons), weight loss becomes like salmon swimming upstream. Doable, but incredibly hard.
Today, I Chose
So here we are. I know my childhood scars are not my fault. Nor did I choose to make my body's hormones so out of balance that I will always feel hungry no matter what.
Which is incredibly liberating. There is nothing to apologize for. No blame, shame or guilt.
But I am responsible for what I do today.
Today, it's my choice whether to carry the wounds from my childhood forward or heal them.
Today, it's my choice how I handle self-soothing.
Today, it's my choice how I handle chronic hunger.
Next Steps
First deal with the food noise.
A great benefit of GLP-1 drugs is that they have made it clear that "food noise" is a medical problem. It's not lack of will power, being lazy, or any other moral failing or character defect.
While eating low carb has dramatically silenced my food noise, it hasn’t completely healed it. Keto doesn’t do it for me either.
I've accepted that I will always have hunger cravings beyond the normal physical need to eat to sustain my health. I've written several articles about how to handle them.
You might want to explore the ways I've mentioned or even consider GLP-1 drugs, whatever works best for you.
That is the key - do what works best for you. Get that food noise under control. Whether through low carb, keto or medications - or a combination. That is the first big step.
Today I'm in a great place in life. The food noise is manageable. I've also had many years of practice ignoring it.
But I would have loved to have had GLP-1 medications when I was younger and struggling with being a mom of a young child, a marriage on the rocks and family finances cratering.
I regained so much of my first 100 lbs. weight loss during that time. The GLP-1 medications would have made the food noise that much easier to resist.
Second, start addressing the emotional wounds.
Even as those who have had gastric bypass surgery have regained all their weight, those on GLP-1 medications will not truly succeed unless they address the emotional part of obesity as well.
Starting next week, I will start a series of articles on tools for emotional healing. Until then, hugs!
Jami
[1] The Link Between Childhood Trauma and Obesity